Aristide Bancé

He’s 1m93 tall, weighs over 90 kilos and has fluorescent hair. You couldn’t ignore Aristide Bancé if you tried. But as well as being a loveable battering-ram forward for Burkina Faso’s equally loveable and rapidly improving football team, Bancé has probably the greatest website ever created for a footballer.

It was during the 2013 Cup of Nations that I became captivated by the Burkinabé forward’s particularly cute brand of perma-rage that compels him to attempt to smash the ball into a parallel universe whenever it comes near him. Bancé’s way of playing football is almost a philosophy of life. Do not overthink things, just give it everything you’ve got. If you sent the ball into the back of the net or into orbit, at least you could look back on it and know you gave it everything.

Upon discovering his website I decided to consecrate a little time to writing some additional lyrics. Why it took me seven months from finishing the song to actually posting it I’m not sure, but here you go. Enjoy, and remember: when in doubt, ask yourself, “what would Aristide do?”

T’inquiètes pas Aimé!
Oh ya, oh ya!
Son jeu est musclé!
Oh ya, oh ya!
Plus fort que Pelé…
Oh ouais ouais ouais
Aristide Bancé!
Oh ya, oh ya!

Ses cheveux sont biens faits!
Oh ya, oh ya!
Il ne rate jamais!
Oh ya, oh ya!
C’est un mec doué…
Oh ouais ouais ouais
Aristide Bancé!
Oh ya, oh ya!

L’appel bien pensé!
Oh ya, oh ya!
Le passe de Traoré!
Oh ya, oh ya!
Vers le but lancé…
Oh ouais ouais ouais
Aristide Bancé!
Oh ya, oh ya!

Le joueur préféré!
Oh ya, oh ya!
Des Burkinabés!
Oh ya, oh ya!
Je le trouve parfait…
Oh ouais ouais ouais
Aristide Bancé!
Oh ya, oh ya!

Bobeto

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One thought on “Aristide Bancé

  1. Excellent article. It’s funny you mention David Silva in this context. His nationality may be Spanish but his parents are from the Canary Islands and Japan. This relates to Maher’s quote quite appropriately I think?

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